Brad and the Sad Clown Painting

It’s a special episode this week with special guest Brad who joins the boys to talk robots, poor nutrition, pockets and a sad clown painting.  Brad wasn’t feeling well, but he showed up for free burgers and a chance to see Ty’s shining visage in person.  The professor is the co-host of the Below the Belt Podcast on the Blowout Podcast network, award winning historian, NPR guest and the author of Arredondo: Last Spanish Ruler of Texas and Northeastern New Spain

To get things going, Gustav mourns the social media death of Clay from Partial Recall.  RIP Clay.  Brad explains how he carries around a laser pointer.  See if you are as confused as the boys are.  That leads Ty to ask about pocket habits and where each of the guys store their wallets, keys, phones and assorted items.

There’s some Sam Elliott talk which then leads to Nick Offerman talk and the greatness of Ron Swanson.

Ty then offers up a hypothetical based on the movie “Passenger”.  It didn’t take long for the wheels to go off the rails in this discussion.  Brad loves Brokeback Mountain, but the guys have never seen it, but they take Brad’s word for it.  The concept of a robosexual relationship while on space ship is bandied about.

Gus had just heard the most recent episode of Brad’s Below the Belt podcast and he is fascinated by the lack of knowledge about medicines by both Brad and Ryan.  That leads to fever talk and some scary nutritional practices by Brad, including him eating soup for breakfast.

Then Gus unveils a special gift of a sad clown painting for Heavy.

sad clown painting

Longmires’ Hate Sad Clown Paintings


There is a discussion about Family Ties and Tina Yothers.  Not really sure how that happened.  Then Brad tells a story about a celebrity interaction on Twitter.  Ty tries valiantly to make a Sade joke.

The boys turn to emails.  Eduardo has an update to the frequent topic of trough urinals.  Gus reminds everyone about the episode of Tell Me Where to Turn where Glen tells his Devil’s Bowl Speedway story. Brad tries haiku.

Gus makes a stand as a cessati0nist and talks about his run in with painting of Jesus laughing.

Then an email from listener Steve wraps things up.

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A Very Heavy Christmas

While Ty is still away on sabbatical, Ray Ranfill joins Heavy and Gustav for a very special Christmas episode.

Stealing a page from the Partial Recall playbook, Heavy tries to pass off a fake sponsor.  He’s feeling creative this episode, therefore if you are a fan of Heavy’s style, then you won’t be disappointed.  His fake sponsor Bill Bailey’s Bowel busters leads to chamber pot and outhouse talk followed up by a most unfortunate tale about the improper use of a trough urinal at the Devil’s Bowl Speedway.

very heavy christmas

He’s been working on this story while out trapping

Gustav files a field report about a tiny town’s Christmas parade that he went to earlier in the day.  That gets the guys thinking about the parades of old in small 903 towns.  Then it’s finally time for the moment that Heavy had been waiting for.  He shares with the listeners his newest Christmas magnum opus, A Very Heavy Christmas.  We’re not sure if it’s classified as a poem or a story, but either way, we think you will enjoy it.  It’s full of Can You Hear Me goodness and he’s quiet proud of himself.

After the Christmas prose, Gustav enlightens the group on the online phenomenon of teabagging someone in a game and how he had to educate his boys about what teabagging really means.

Heavy and Gustav then turn their sights on special guest Ray Ranfill and callback to a previous episode where he had written in and made reference to the “True Love Waits” movement which came along a few years after the guys were out of high school.

The rest of the episode is a scattershooting mess with high stakes backgammon talk, the effect of Native American casinos on the baby boomers of the 903 area code, Gustav well actuallying Ray about oxygen tanks and fire, more goofy stuff Gustav’s kids say and finally some more Christmas decorations talk.

Email us your feedback on Heavy’s new literary career at or reach us on Twitter @realgustav @longmireheavy @tywebb3000

Trough Urinals and Emails

The guys spend most of the 20th episode answering listener emails and going off on tangents about trough urinals, ice milk and race relations.  The episode was originally recorded back in June, several weeks before the unfortunate events in Dallas on July 7th.  One of this episode’s topics is how big a change desegregation was for the South and how just two generations removed from those times, the children of today think the idea of segregation sounds ridiculous.  The guys point out that the Nation has come a long way, but there are still obviously problems that still need to be worked through.

But for the most part this episode is like all the others, which means it is full of random thoughts, weird stories and a fair amount of nut kicking.  The Crandyman proposes that a local dirt track may have sent a copperhead strike force to the Monteblanc homestead and offers up another “White Couch” type of story that he heard in his youth.  Our West Texas Rancher shares a game changing idea for the strip club operators of the world and Pretty Little Nurse points out that she has some dating competition in her new West Coast town. Heavy actually offers up some solid dating advice for her.

All of these emails lead the boys down multiple rabbit trails, which isn’t any different than any other episode.  Gustav and Ty recall their summer job working for the school district.  During those summers, Gustav got stuck removing 70 year old trough urinals while Ty pointed out that his crew where taking naps.

old trough urinal

Gustav describes the music that he created and sent to the Below the Belt Podcast and describes it as horrid.  Below the Belt is a Mixed Martial Arts/History podcast that the guys are big fans of.  In the course of talking about Below the Belt, Gustav tells the story of how he was faced with sparring a 12 year old punk in Kendo class and how things escalated.  Hopefully, we will soon be able to get the Below the Belt guys on as guests or vice versa.

As mentioned earlier, the gang talks about how much has changed since our hometown was desegregated in the early sixties.  This leads the guys off on a discussion about post-colonial Africa and the current scramble for resources and influences that the U.S.A. and Europe are in with China.