Daddy Bush and Pickled Things

Heavy, Gustav and Ty are thrilled to have Megan Fleming as a special guest this week to talk about Daddy Bush shenanigans and pickled foods.  Megan is the host of Megan’s Movie Podcast on the Blowout Podcast Network.  She has been kind enough to have Ty and Gus on as guests, but so far, no Heavy appearance has been allowed.

Ty tries to make Megan feel welcome by bringing a six pack of Modelo beer at the start of the session, but Megan was brown bagging tall boys and wasn’t having any of his attempts at hospitality.  Megan explains how she came up with her Twitter handle in a thrilling story.

daddy bush George Herbert Walker Bush and a batch of pickles

Then she stands up and waves her feminist banner and rails against the misdeads of Daddy Bush, aka George Herbert Walker Bush, and the recent news stories of inappropriate touching and the David Copp-a-feel joke.   Emboldened by the mere mention of a political figure, Heavy jumps at the chance to go on a political rant.

Megan brought the three hooligans gift bags full of goodies.  In the bags were candies such as the Southern classic Cherry Mash as well as a wide variety of pickled items made by Megan and her mother and sister.  They have a company called Yims Foods which make all kinds of pickled goodies and jams.  The boys have questions about their offerings and Megan does her best even though they don’t let her speak much in this episode.

Pickle talk soon turns to grandma talk which invariably leads to punishment talk with tales of switches, flyswatters and even a hot wheel race track.  Then Megan shares tales of rice torture that shock the boys.  Then the old men tell about back when teachers gave swats at will and how the world was a better place.

 

So send us your emails about punishments,  pickles or the time the ex-president patted you on the butt  to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Bonsai and French Fry

Heavy and Gustav are back to talk bonsai trees, french fries, childhood dangers and all you can eat catfish.   In what may be the most boring start ever to a podcast Heavy and Gustav seriously discuss bonsai trees.  There ought to be a listener warning that the segment may induce sleep while driving or operating heavy machinery.  But they are truly interested in such things and that’s just where the conversation went.

Gus acknowledges Heavy’s supreme knowledge of trees amongst the three of them (even though Ty isn’t there to lay claim to the crown).  So Heavy discusses an innovative professor he had in college and the wacky horticulture he engaged in.  They also discuss parks and show a general lack of knowledge.

Luckily, some listeners were kind enough to send in questions.  Returning to the.270 vs 30-06 question, Heavy gives his answer.  Then they turn to their dangerous childhood with lawn darts, battery operated trucks, pop rocks and a general apathy toward seat belts.

bonsai and french fry

Then they hit their stride as they weigh in on the best way to French fry potatoes.  Emboldened, Heavy actually ranks the fast food franchises for their french fries.  That makes them think then about all you can eat catfish places and Gus wonders if they even exist in the big city.  Heavy is particularly interested if anyone knows of an all you can eat catfish place around the Lake Lavon area.

 

Good dude Ray Ranfill sends an email about Braum’s that fits nicely into french fry talk.

 

So send us your emails about bonsai trees,  french fries, lawn dart injuries ,  or rifle cartridges to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

Also be sure to tell your friends and neighbors that this episode is a bit more boring than usual and not to judge us too harshly.  Ty will be back soon.

 

 

 

 

 

City of Heavy – Crappie Filets

America has spoken, so Heavy has his own episode this week to talk about crappie filets, documentaries, and what ever else suits him.  He’s always maintained that he is America’s favorite and the one and only.  So it only made sense to give loyal listeners and future generations a special episode dedicated to Heavy.

crappie filets

To get the ball rolling, Heavy shares with you his favorite way to prepare Crappie filets.  Get out those index cards to write down this info so that you can pass it on down to your grandkids.  Then Heavy engages in some international diplomacy with our Australian and Ecuadoran listeners.  Find out what Heavy knows about Australia and Mel Gibson’s ranting.

Heavy has recently watched a movie based on the life of British Colonel Percival Fawcett called the Lost City of Z, so he shares his thoughts on it and the role of historical timeline proximity and how it shapes generational perceptions of events.

Having rewatched the Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary and as he currently watches the Vietnam series, Heavy has thoughts about documentaries and the work of Ken Burns.  He ponders the narrative challenge to stay neutral in telling of historical events.  Then he turns his attention to a recent TED Talk he watched regarding America being founded on the principal of genocide.  He discusses the plight of the Native American’s, Depression era lynchings, the American Indian Movement’s occupation of both Alcatraz and Wounded Knee as well as the 24 hour news cycle.  And once again William F. Buckley is referenced in regard to the Huey Newton episode of Firing Line.

 

So send us your emails about how to prepare crappie filets, historical perspective, or if you want more Heavy solo episodes to  canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

The North Texas Gas Crisis of 2017

The full crew is back to talk about hiding out, the North Texas Gas Crisis, hushpuppies, Comanches and much more.  Right off the bat they start off with Long John Silvers, hushpuppies and catfish restaurant talk (again).  But that doesn’t last long as Heavy attacks Gus and tries to blame him for the North Texas Gas Crisis of 2017.  Blame may be a strong word, but Heavy does believe Gus had a hand in it.  Heavy also recounts Gus and the global rice shortage many years ago.

north texas gas crisis

Gus once again stresses that everyone should have at least 72 hours worth of food and water on hand for an emergency situation.  That leads to a twitter question from Tell wondering what the boys would recommend to have with them if they had to go into hiding in West Texas.  Surprisingly enough, they don’t give a straight answer and they ultimately leave out a lot things.

Gus recalls alt-country/Americana singer/songwriter Kevin Welch’s song “Wilson’s Tracks”and from there Heavy talks about how he was a house guest in the Seattle area once upon a time.  That leads to a discussion about natural resources availability and the effect that scarcity had on whether or not Native American tribes established more stable settlements which led to increased population densities.  That leads to Gus mentioning the Japanese explorer/Zunni language hypothesis which will need to be further investigated.

Ty has been reading “The Empire of the Sun and the Moon” about the Comanche nation and that leads to a lot of discussion about Comanche raiding parties during the 1700’s and 1800’s.

Heavy talks about the response to Hurricane Harvey and ties back to the Eastern Bloc with a story about his friend’s Hungarian wife and her baked bean conundrum.

They finally get back to Tell’s question but they get hung up on the “Two is One, One is None” redundant equipment philosophy.

 

If you would like the guys to talk in earnest about emergency preparedness or if you just want us to keep flitting from one topic to the next, email us at CanYouHearMePod@gmail.com

 

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Gus’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Royal Tenenbaums.

Mexican Internet

Once again Ray Ranfill joins Heavy and Gus to talk old movies, answer emails and debate the merits of ordering things off of the Mexican Internet.  Ty is busy doing “paperwork” once again, or possibly doing research for his new side project with Megan from Megan’s Movie Podcast where they analyze each and every line from Tootsie.

Gustav gets the ball rolling with a  field report from a pawn shop and offers up a little show and tell for the boys.  He also discusses the wide open nature of black powder pistols for those citizens who may not be able to legally purchase a cartridge firearm.

There is some highbrow grandstanding as Gustav brags about reading fancy books such as William Faulkner’s Sound and the Fury, but Heavy tries to keep him in check.

Jay responds to his own email about the fascinating world of Sun Truthers which Gus and Heavy had never even heard of before.

There is some talk about the American institute of trial by jury, Bitcoin and HBO’s classic series The Wire.

mexican internetAn email from KJ about hangovers leads the three to ask where you would you rather order IV solution from the Canadian Internet of the Mexican Internet and you really can’t pass that up for an episode name at that point.

Ray talks about how awesome he is at fantasy sports betting and the like.

Fake Bailey Jay takes the boys to task about some hot sports opinions about Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, which leads to a very disappointing conversation with Heavy and Jay about their opinions about the film.  But further discussion about Tarrantino’s work is more positive.

The movie talk leads Ray to ask about regretting showing your kids certain movies.  Gus tells about how he had his kids watch the unedited Blaxploitation classic “Cotton Comes to Harlem” and how he forgot a few jubblies that may have been left out of the edited version.  He also talks about the fun action comedy “True Lies”

 

So send us your emails about movies, single shot shotguns or jury selection to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.

 

Dirt Track

Join the guys for a special guest , a field report from the dirt track and much much more.  Since Ty is too busy with “paperwork”,  long time friend of the show Ray Ranfill was kind enough to join us.

Straight out of the gate, Gustav takes a stand against Grandy’s and recalls a special moment that he and Heavy shared many moons ago at a 903 area code Grandy’s. Then Gustav tries to establish some street cred with a story about how he frequents a  local taqueria.   And while he’s all hopped up on food talk, he rails against mixing corn into other dishes.

dirt track

Matt’s fist full of cash he won at the dirt track

But the real focus of the show is the tale of Gus and Jay going to the Grayson County Speedway with Matt and St. Ginsburg.  Gustav was busy taking notes and asking long time racing enthusiast Jay questi0ns.  It was a fun night and Matt even won money!  But going back to food, Gus offers hot sports opinions about “the walking taco”

Once again Gus brainstorms about a Greyhound bus trip and dreams of the possibilities for the show.  It will probably never happen, but if it does, then you will hear all about it.  Then Gus drifts into talk about FarmAid 92 and how he hopes to do an entire Farm Aid episode some time in the future.

So send us your emails about bus trips, Cutlass Supremes or your fun at dirt tracks or drag races to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.  Who knows how much longer till Ty and Megan start their own Captain and Tenille cover band.

 

 

 

The Tale of Honey Mellons

Ty and Gus are back this week to answer listener Twitter questions, wax poetic ad talk about an exotic dancer named Honey Mellons.  Despite their best efforts and lighting numerous signal fires with the hope of luring him home, Heavy Longmire is still hiding somewhere in the wilderness.  Perhaps some day he will return.  But until that day comes, you are stuck with Ty and Gustav who truly do love you.

Ty starts off telling a story from his misspent youth in a honky tonk.  Cody sends a tweet about love that causes the boys to reflect on first loves.  Cody follows up with a tweet that makes Ty tell about the time he got lost in East Texas.  Gus revisits stumbling on a compound and then once again they touch base on the Satanic scare of the late eighties/early nineties.

The boys love all things related to eighties television so they spend an inordinate amount of time talking about the first episode of Fantasy Island, the parallel between Mr. Roarke and the Old Testament Jehova, and Roddy McDowell’s guest appearances as the devil.  And once again, they talk about their crush on Erin Grey from Buck Rogers.

The man from Baltimore proposes a conundrum involving John Wayne, Wilford Brimley and Marty Robbins which will certainly have Pretty Little Ranch Wife firing off a strongly worded email in weeks to come.  Gus gets far too excited about the Statler Brothers and their appearance on the Marty Robbins show back in the seventies.

Gus talks about how he’s been watching the Santa Clarita Diet on Netflix and how Timothy Olyphant’s character reminds him a lot of one Ty Webb.

former exotic dancer and model Honey Mellons

Another Dabney Coleman mention occurs for anyone keeping score at home and Rusty asks about nipples. Gus has been thinking about nipples on the way to record, so he has some thoughts on the subject.  Then he tells the story of how an exotic dancer named Honey Mellons made everyone who worked at his grocery store lose their minds one chilly night in Lubbock in 1993.

So send us your emails about nipples, the time you saw Honey Mellons at the grocery store or which actor you think looks like Ty  to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

 

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Curly Bill

Once again, Ty and Gustav are without the one and only Heavy Longmire, but they somehow manage to appreciate art, talk about Curly Bill and much much more.

As we continue into our second month without Heavy, Gustav makes a stand against kids with Mohawks while Ty for some reason makes a stand against one of the show’s nicest listeners.   Gus objects but they finally come to an agreement on kids with rat tails.

If you remember the episode with the sad creepy clown painting, you know that Gustav loves “art”.  He unveils a new painting he has discovered and discusses the work of Ernesto Blume.  Ernesto painted a portrait of Powers Boothe as Curly Bill from Tombstone.  Gustav maps out his plan for further collaboration with Ernesto Blume and Can You Hear Me listeners.

powers boothe curly bill ernesto blume

Ernesto Blume’s Portrait of Curly Bill

With Curly Bill looking down on Ty and Gus, they talk about the impact of Powers Boothe’s career on the CYHM collective psyche. Boothe starred in classics such as Deadwood, Frailty, Southern Comfort, Deadwood, and much more.  One of his most powerful roles was as Jim Jones.  While Ty seeks further refreshment, Gus recaps the story of Jim Jones and the Jonestown tragedy.

Ty fondly recalls Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues for a bit.  Then they discuss the problematic nature of the “back room” at small town video stores.  That somehow leads Ty to tell his stories about a couple of near misses with local law enforcement during the early nineties in the 903.

So send us your emails about Powers Boothe, running from the law or Heavy Longmire spottings  to canyouhearmepod@gmai

l.com

Be sure to listen to listen to Gustav’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast on the Blowout Podcast Network where he and Megan talk about Tombstone.

And listen to Brad each week on his own podcast Below the Belt

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Professor Brad – Off the Grid

This week is the much anticipated second part of the award winning face to face interview with Professor Brad where more twitter questions are answered, crazy theories are explored and Brad lays out his plan for off the grid living.

As you remember from the first part of this interview, Ty was away and the late great Heavy Longmire is lost on the prairie for all we know. But Professor Brad was kind enough to join Gustav for pseudo-intellectual mumbo jumbo.  This episode picks up with more questions submitted by our faithful listeners via Twitter, including hypotheticals (we hope) over what someone would do for a year’s supply of food or for someone’s latest book to make it to the top of  the New York Times bestseller list.

Once the Twitter questions were done, the conversation turns to submarine talk with more hypermasculinity talk as well as a couple of apochryphal stories that may or may not be true.

marfa texas off the gridFor a while, Brad had been wanting to talk to Gustav about the logistics of going off the grid.  Brad has his eyes set on the rugged scenery around Marfa, Texas.  So far Brad has a plan and a materials list, but Gus does his best to shoot holes in Brad’s dream, the way that a slightly inebriated uncle can ruin Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and a belief in fiat currency.  Gus talks a bit about his dalliance with solar power in the past and some problems that he sees with living the off the grid lifestyle in Texas.

For some reason Brad then changes the conversation to Climate Change (probably to get Gustav wound up).  The two of them then dive into talk of ice ages, pre-Columbian environmental pollution, Terrence McKenna’s theory that magic mushrooms caused the development of language, fracking earthquakes and wondering whatever happened to the hole in the ozone layer and acid rain.

So send us your emails about living in a half buried shipping container, climate change, or the first dirty joke you told your dad to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

And listen to Brad each week on his own podcast Below the Belt

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod