Foreign Listeners

The Can You Hear Me boys are back with a mish mash of mustache talk, a mystery, thoughts on the S-Town podcast, Gustav’s report on foreign listeners and emails from the faithful.

To get things going Gustav reveals a mystery that he has encountered recently.  Heavy and Ty do their best to get to the bottom of problem.

Then they discuss the wildly popular S-Town podcast and how close to home it feels to the 903 area code, where the guys were born and raised.  They also discuss some of the problems that they identified with the podcast.

gene shalit on today show with tom brokaw

Somehow they get onto mustache talk, partly brought on by a recent spell of Gene Shalit jokes.  Gene was the mustachioed film critic for NBC’s Today show for years and not0rious for bad pun

foreign listeners can you hear me

Vintage Japanese Radio Ad promoting Can You Hear Me?

s and sometimes questionable reviews.

Long time listener Fake Bailey Jay has a couple of emails chastising Gustav for possible inaccuracies and omissions.

Touching back on the previous misogynistic discussion about female singers of the seventies and eighties, Gustav brings up one the sisters from Heart and Ty ties it all back to the mountain climber game on the Price is Right.

 

Gustav has an interesting report on a recent upsurge in foreign listeners of Can You Hear Me.  The new hotbeds for Can You Hear Me downloads outside the U.S. are Japan and Germany.  Heavy has a theory why but Gus just wants to know who these people are and why they listen to the ramblings of educated hillbillies.

They also have a new female listener who sends in a t-shirt idea and is currently trying to make her way through the entire back catalog of episodes.

So send us your emails telling us where you are listening from and how you found out about us to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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Gary Gnu and Family Heirlooms

After so many weeks of jocularity, your three favorite educated hillbillies wander into semi-serious topics as they discuss business owners rights, Gary Gnu, and family heirlooms with a a few detours along the way.

We start this week’s voyage off with Heavy trying to sing once more.  If you like that sort of thing, then you are in luck. If you don’t like it, wait it out because it thankfully only lasts a short while. Inspired by his own singing, he shares with us a tale of him trying to bond with one of his daughters over Michael Jackson music.  That leads to some talk about seventies and eighties kids shows like the Lost Saucer and Wonderbug, which somehow leads to Gus claiming one of the actors in Wonderbug would go on to star as a non-porn role in the infamous New Wave Hookers 2.  (check out his credits on IMDB!)  Then Heavy tells how Mrs. Longmire tried to pronunciation shame him on the pronunciation of “GNU” but he defended the attack by citing the Gary Gnu show from The Great Space Coaster!  Heavy also offers up some New Wave fun facts (the music, not the porno movie) and Gus and Heavy have stories of stupid stuff their kids have said lately.

gary gnu holding family heirloom

Gary Gnu Holding Heavy’s Family Heirloom

Gus then stears the ship into a serious discussion about separating the art from the artist and how society changes their views on a persons creations if that person may fall out of favor due to actions or new facts emerging about their character.  Somehow that leads to a discussion about states rights, the rights of a business owner to refuse service and the legal and moral implications of private citizens excluding customers based on any number of criteria.  Obviously, we needed J.J.’s legal opinion, so hopefully he will correct us via email.

Speaking of email, Tellito sends in a thought provoking email about family heirlooms which leads the guys down memory lane and man is it dusty and dry.

Email us your legal opinions, stories of family heirlooms and thoughts on the sins of the creator to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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The Female Perspective

The three amigos are back together this week making each other laugh and somehow the female perspective is brought up.   But things start off a little rocky as Gustav has just had to fix Ty’s mic stand which leaves Gus distracted and the normal show introductions are forgotten, so if you are new to the podcast and don’t know who is who by voice:  Ty is the handsome sounding one, Gustav is the one that sounds like a hick and Heavy is the one and only.

Who knew three old men were so infatuated with blankets? But once again we stumble into afghan and blanket talk.  But that doesn’t last long as we dip our toes into the seventies version of Partial Recall’s world and talk about What’s Happening and the sequel What’s Happening Now? for a bit.  The Doobie Brothers episode always stands out.

Gus turns into a grammar hawk as he belittles people for misusing words and the guys share their pet peeves about people misusing words or making new words up (the sense of irony isn’t lost, but we blow right through it.)

In m0re old man news, the guys complain about recent updates to the classic board game of Monopoly.

The Hoyt Axton thread continues as Gus falsely attributes a songwriting credit to Hoyt, but it all works out because he’s wrong and we get a Michael Martin Murphy fun fact.

Ty brings another field report from his Rangers spring training trip, but this time it is about disparity in attractiveness between the male and female in couples he observed.  He wants everyone to keep an eye out for it and send in their own observations.  And that’s when Heavy offers the female perspective.

Then an email from Fake Bailey Jay  brings in more female perspective as she asks about female comedians.  Both Gus and Fake Bailey Jay have discussed this at length in real life and both of them love comedic actress Amy Sedaris, but Fake Bailey Jay knew she was lighting a fuse with this email.

After ranting about female comics, the guys turn their sights on female musicians where talent and attractiveness collide.  The female perspective is  abandoned as eventually the three just turn into grunting cavemen.

bangles eighties band female perspective

Who Knew Gus Would Get So Excited About The Bangles

 

Email us your reports about attractiveness disparity and female perspectives to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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The Black Falconer – Part One

The Can You Hear Me? Podcast is proud to welcome special guest K.J. to the show this week to talk vermin, chores and his new project The Black Falconer.  Ty and Gus had so much fun with K.J. that we will be splitting up the recording session into two episodes.

K.J. is the young rising star of the Blowout Podcast Network.  Originally, K.J. started the Partial Recall podcast with good dude Clay, which led to the Blowout Podcast Network recruiting them.  Since then, K.J. has started both “Fuck the Walking Dead” and “The Optomist Club” podcasts with locally and regionally famous Mike “Machine” Marshall.  We have been trying to record with K.J. (and Clay) for almost a year and finally we were able to get together.

Not afraid to tackle hard hitting issues, Ty starts out with the important question of “What is the most racist cheese?”  It’s a discussion you just won’t want to miss.

J.J. sent a question in about his fabulous dance moves at the Blowout One Million Download Celebration.  Gus recalls J.J.’s grooving that evening as well as the previous episode where he interviewed J.J.

falconer

Watch K.J. this fall on CBS as The Black Falconer

Ty recounts a recent event where his and Heavy’s dads were blowing up beaver damns.  That leads K.J. to pick the guys’ brains about dealing with vermin.  Lot’s of possum talk which we know you will love.  Listen to find out how K.J. may become the Black Falconer and move on to Hollywood fame.

Ty and Gustav can’t go an episode without talking about Brad in some fashion.  This week is no different as Gustav rants about Brad’s over use of the fifty cent word “insalubrious” in Brad’s new book.  It’s a great book, but come on, he used that word three times in one chapter.

With K.J. and his landlord looking for a house, K.J. asks some home improvement questions which somehow leads to talk about chicken menstruation and the roughness of roosters mounting chickens.

It’s  a fun episode so be sure to listen to part two next week.  Check out K.J. and Clay’s weekly podcast Partial Recall.

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Squirrel Hunting with a Blowgun

Episode 58 finds the boys answering emails, making each other laugh and Heavy asking if we’ve ever been squirrel hunting with a blowgun.  Straight out of the gate, Heavy is offering up million dollar ideas including “Beaver Box”.

Ty is wound up after a trip to Ranger’s spring training and he shares his argument with his younger brother about the safety of un-refrigerated mayonnaise.  This leads to a discussion about whether other condiments need refrigeration including the jellies and jams.  At one point someone says “Fritos and Mayonnaise”, which almost became this episode’s title.

In Episdoe 57, the guys talk about the Canadian TV show Letterkenny.  So you may wonder why Gustav basically repeats himself this week in order to tell a story about a run in with a treasure trail.  It would be nice to say that it was an intentional reset for listeners who may not have been by the channel for Episode 57.  But the truth is that we recorded Ep 57 two weeks after recording Ep 58, but jumped it ahead in order to document Matt’s finding of the “Coke is the Real Thing” commercial.  So that means in two short weeks, Gustav had completely forgotten what they had talked about when they recorded this episode.

They turn to emails and first up is nicest guy in the world Tom with some questions about vacation spots in Texas.  We pretty much let Heavy answer this one and collect a check from the San Antonio Tourism Office.

Next up we have emails from two of the three hosts of the Tell Me Where to Turn podcast.  Tommy offers up a hypothetical and Glen fires off an email aimed at a lot of different people.  Then Gustav goes off on a rant about ATF barrel length regulations and for some reason Heavy asks “Ever gone squirrel hunting with a blowgun?”

hunting a squirrel with a blowgun

Heavy will Soon be Offering Guided Squirrel Blowgun Hunts

And Ty and Gus geek out about Mike Wallace from Sixty Minutes fame.

Email us your ideas of what our next careers should be as well as any Texas vacation destinations to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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Heavy’s Flag Code

The guys are back this week with Heavy’s new flag code, problems with Whataburger and a special treat from Ray Ranfill.  To make up for last week’s short episode we bring you the listener over one hour of quality product.

Right out of the chute, the guys tackle electricity and belts.  Riveting stuff right?  Then Gustav talks a bit more about Letterkenny, the Canadian comedy series that is now the guy’s current favorite show (update: Ty is all caught up).  It would be great if Letterkenny was available in the U.S. but it’s not at this time so you are just going to have “figure it out”.

 

Then Heavy gets all patriotic and digs into the Flag Code.  That leads  Ty and Gus to prove they are partly wrong most of the time.

heavy's flag code

How Heavy Respects Our Flag

Then we address a follow up email from our previous episode Partial Rewall.  Ray Ranfill is a poet and Ty gives life to his wonderful verses.

After such a glorious j.o. fest of in-jokes and 80’s NCAA basketball references, Ty gets all old man and channels his rage against Whataburger after he’s had two negative experiences in 24 hours.  Plus Heavy reveals a shocking Whataburger confession.

Somehow Ty realizes that Heavy looks like singer/songwriter/actor Hoyt Axton and that derails the show for a while.

hoyt axton boney fingers

Heavy’s Look Alike

Since they are derailed, Ty and Gus spend some time fondly thinking about the WKRP Softball episode.

wkrp

Bailey and Jennifer

Gustav tells how listener Matt found the lost Coke movie commercial in a shockingly small amount of time. Coke is the Real Thing once again.

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And buy Brad’s book!

 

Juicin’ Hard

This week is a short episode due to some technical issues, but there is plenty of fun as the guys talk old movie theaters, juicin’ hard and other nonsense.

To get the ball rolling we engage in more talk about Heavy’s dad and his habits which transitions into a discussion about watching habits and how they have changed over the years.  Heavy tells us about how he watched the classic Paul Newman Jackie Gleason film “The Hustler” on Netflix (not to be confused by the landmark skin mag published by Larry Flynt).

Ty and Gustav notice Heavy is looking thinner so he shares his new philosophy of “Juicin’ Hard”.  This may catch on globally so you heard it here first.

fruits and vegetables to juice

Be like Heavy and Juice Hard

Once again the boys talk about their childhood movie theater and how magically decrepit it was.  Then they plead with the audience for help to find the lost Coca Cola movie theater advertisement about “Traveling down a dusty road, going to meet a friend.  Down at the movies, that’s where it all begins.”  No one can find it and hardly anyone remembers it except your favorite educated hillbillies.

Heavy comes up with new business ideas which short of winning the lottery will be total failures. Ty talks about time traveling Beatles and Gus discusses a Stephen Still lost demo tape that was found and released as “Roll Tape”.   Somehow that brings about fond memories of the Freedom Rock commercial back in the eighties and nineties.

Gus offers a reward for the missing Coke commercial, but he will not honor Ty and Heavy’s additional offers of a reward with his money.

Sorry it’s a short episode, but sometimes things get messed up when you have free labor.

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Heavy’s World Famous Baked Beans

The full Can You Hear Me crew is back this week for insane ideas, funny stories and Heavy’s World Famous Baked Beans.  After Gustav’s history lecture last week, the boys are ready to make each other laugh.

Despite trying to have a discussion about college sports team gear, Gustav derails the conversation early on with elbow talk and makes himself laugh more than any person should.  The guys get back on track and talk about the nature of Texas college sports fans.  Then Heavy and Gus vaguely remember a story about the horse from Texas Tech and recount an incident which may or may not have happened, but it makes for a good story either way (we are fully expecting hate mail from all sides after this segment).

Gus asks “what made you funny?” and Ty tries to answer while Heavy works to undermine the conversation.  Ty brings up Sid Caesar’s Show of Shows and Gustav tries to discuss the Marx Brothers, but it goes no where fast.

Then they turn their attention to a Twitter question about why they don’t use the song “Silent Running” by Mike and the Mechanics in the show open.  Gustav has reasons and he lays them out for you (but it is a great song from the eighties!).

Professor Brad sends Gustav texts throughout the episode which Gustav shares with the audience. Someday he will make a guest appearance, but only via texts this week.

heavy longmire's world famous baked beans

Get a Can of Heavy’s Baked Beans Wherever Trapping Supplies are Sold

Ty then gives some Oscar talk before Heavy talks way too much about his world famous baked beans.  The look of pride on his face as he talked about these baked beans was prouder than we have ever seen.

Then, on  a roll, Heavy talks about something extremely large he found.  This is a story not for the squeamish or more delicate listeners.  Plus Ty gives some further thoughts to his timing challenge.

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Don’t send us pics of your logs

U.S.S. Pueblo

Ty went to Rangers spring training and Heavy and Gustav couldn’t get together so Gustav decided to educate the masses on the U.S.S. Pueblo incident.

USS Pueblo spy ship

The U.S.S. Pueblo

Gus starts off by digging into some Korean history and showing the inherent isolationist tendencies of past Korean rulers.  Both invasions by neighbors and intrusions by Europeans, including the S.S. General Sherman incident as well as French and U.S. expeditions, kept Korea sequestered till the late 19th century.

Kim Il Sung’s rise to power is then discussed as well as his actions regarding the Korean War, the DMZ Crisis and the Blue House Attack.  By setting the scene of the situation on the Korean peninsula in the late nineteen sixties, Gustav prepares you for the tale of the U.S.S. Pueblo and her crew.

uss pueblo propaganda photo with sailor flipping off the camera

The Ever So Subtle Hawaiian Good Luck Sign

The U.S.S. Pueblo was an American spy ship working off the Eastern coast of North Korea.  She was discovered and captured by the North Korean navy.  Her crew was then taken to Pyongyang, the capitol of North Korea.  The crew was tortured and used for propaganda purposes, but they came up with a way to resist, by flipping off the cameraman, which they told the North Korean captors was a Hawaiian Good Luck Sign.

Ultimately the crew was released and returned to the U.S., but a full court of inquiry was launched against the ship’s officers.  Listen to find out the rest of the story.

The full crew of Heavy, Ty and Gustav will be back next week with their usual mix of laughs, weird stories and listener emails.  You can send your own questions, topic ideas, or weird stories to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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That’s Me and Bananas

Listen to this week’s episode for a listener email about cruise ships, hot sports opinions about Dairy Queen Blizzards and Gustav’s weird stance on bananas.

Following up on Ty’s strange time measurement challenge from last week, Gustav asks about nighttime bathroom habits to get the conversation going.  Ty shares a dangerous story of going to the bathroom while Gus and Heavy make fun of him.

Ty and Heavy then stumble into some Alex Jones talk, stealing a page from the likes of IJB but then Ty starts challenging Gustav’s libertarian beliefs, probing to see exactly what he believes covering everything from home distillation to seat belts.

Long time good time listener Chef Rob (aka the Seafood Sorcerer) sends in an email based on recent Twitter conversations regarding cruise ships.  Gustav recounts past cruises and Heavy chimes in with his horrible experience.  Cruise talk leads to a discussion of whether or not we take too many pictures in this digital age.

banana suitSomehow we end up on the discussion of Dairy Queen Blizzards (imagine us talking about food…seems impossible). Gustav of course has some contrarian opinions on this staple of the ice cream based treats.  Which of course then leads him down a rabbit trail about banana flavored medicine called Paregoric.  His experiences with the camphorated tincture of opium known as Paregoric changed his life in a way that Heavy and Ty have a hard time comprehending.  And Paregoric gave us today’s episode title “That’s Me and Bananas”.

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