Whataburger Drive Thru

Once again Heavy, Ty and Gustav welcome back Megan Fleming to talk about a funny Whataburger Drive Thru story, circumcision, male behavior and much more.   Megan is the host of Megan’s Movie Podcast on the Blowout Podcast Network.  She’s been kind enough to have Gustav and Ty on as guests, but so far no Heavy appearance has been scheduled.

 

To get the ball rolling Heavy and Gustav discuss how their kids are starting to seek out the podcast and how it finally caught up with Gus.  Then Gustav shares some feedback from Down Under for their recent Bonsai tree episode.

Unlike last week, there is a concerted effort to actually allow Megan to talk.  Taking the floor, she wants to know “What’s up with guys?” and shares the tale about a disgusting co-worker.  Then she tells us all about how many dong pics her friend gets a day.    Talk about men leads to a discussion about circumcision and the impact that a parent’s decision may have on a young man’s future.

whataburger drive thru

Ty and Heavy think back to the funniest Heavy story that there may have ever been and remember the time that Heavy turned a normal trip to the Whataburger Drive Thru into a night that they will never forget.  It’s one of their favorite stories and they are glad to finally get it down on tape for future humans to enjoy into perpetuity.  Gus shares another Heavy story involving some uncooperative valets.

It was great for Megan to join us once again and we look forward to future guest appearances.  Be sure to check out Megan’s Movie Podcast each Friday.

So send us your emails about Heavy sightings, circumcision, disgusting co-workers, or the time you took over a Whataburger drive thru  to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

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Daddy Bush and Pickled Things

Heavy, Gustav and Ty are thrilled to have Megan Fleming as a special guest this week to talk about Daddy Bush shenanigans and pickled foods.  Megan is the host of Megan’s Movie Podcast on the Blowout Podcast Network.  She has been kind enough to have Ty and Gus on as guests, but so far, no Heavy appearance has been allowed.

Ty tries to make Megan feel welcome by bringing a six pack of Modelo beer at the start of the session, but Megan was brown bagging tall boys and wasn’t having any of his attempts at hospitality.  Megan explains how she came up with her Twitter handle in a thrilling story.

daddy bush George Herbert Walker Bush and a batch of pickles

Then she stands up and waves her feminist banner and rails against the misdeads of Daddy Bush, aka George Herbert Walker Bush, and the recent news stories of inappropriate touching and the David Copp-a-feel joke.   Emboldened by the mere mention of a political figure, Heavy jumps at the chance to go on a political rant.

Megan brought the three hooligans gift bags full of goodies.  In the bags were candies such as the Southern classic Cherry Mash as well as a wide variety of pickled items made by Megan and her mother and sister.  They have a company called Yims Foods which make all kinds of pickled goodies and jams.  The boys have questions about their offerings and Megan does her best even though they don’t let her speak much in this episode.

Pickle talk soon turns to grandma talk which invariably leads to punishment talk with tales of switches, flyswatters and even a hot wheel race track.  Then Megan shares tales of rice torture that shock the boys.  Then the old men tell about back when teachers gave swats at will and how the world was a better place.

 

So send us your emails about punishments,  pickles or the time the ex-president patted you on the butt  to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Bonsai and French Fry

Heavy and Gustav are back to talk bonsai trees, french fries, childhood dangers and all you can eat catfish.   In what may be the most boring start ever to a podcast Heavy and Gustav seriously discuss bonsai trees.  There ought to be a listener warning that the segment may induce sleep while driving or operating heavy machinery.  But they are truly interested in such things and that’s just where the conversation went.

Gus acknowledges Heavy’s supreme knowledge of trees amongst the three of them (even though Ty isn’t there to lay claim to the crown).  So Heavy discusses an innovative professor he had in college and the wacky horticulture he engaged in.  They also discuss parks and show a general lack of knowledge.

Luckily, some listeners were kind enough to send in questions.  Returning to the.270 vs 30-06 question, Heavy gives his answer.  Then they turn to their dangerous childhood with lawn darts, battery operated trucks, pop rocks and a general apathy toward seat belts.

bonsai and french fry

Then they hit their stride as they weigh in on the best way to French fry potatoes.  Emboldened, Heavy actually ranks the fast food franchises for their french fries.  That makes them think then about all you can eat catfish places and Gus wonders if they even exist in the big city.  Heavy is particularly interested if anyone knows of an all you can eat catfish place around the Lake Lavon area.

 

Good dude Ray Ranfill sends an email about Braum’s that fits nicely into french fry talk.

 

So send us your emails about bonsai trees,  french fries, lawn dart injuries ,  or rifle cartridges to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

Also be sure to tell your friends and neighbors that this episode is a bit more boring than usual and not to judge us too harshly.  Ty will be back soon.

 

 

 

 

 

City of Heavy – Crappie Filets

America has spoken, so Heavy has his own episode this week to talk about crappie filets, documentaries, and what ever else suits him.  He’s always maintained that he is America’s favorite and the one and only.  So it only made sense to give loyal listeners and future generations a special episode dedicated to Heavy.

crappie filets

To get the ball rolling, Heavy shares with you his favorite way to prepare Crappie filets.  Get out those index cards to write down this info so that you can pass it on down to your grandkids.  Then Heavy engages in some international diplomacy with our Australian and Ecuadoran listeners.  Find out what Heavy knows about Australia and Mel Gibson’s ranting.

Heavy has recently watched a movie based on the life of British Colonel Percival Fawcett called the Lost City of Z, so he shares his thoughts on it and the role of historical timeline proximity and how it shapes generational perceptions of events.

Having rewatched the Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary and as he currently watches the Vietnam series, Heavy has thoughts about documentaries and the work of Ken Burns.  He ponders the narrative challenge to stay neutral in telling of historical events.  Then he turns his attention to a recent TED Talk he watched regarding America being founded on the principal of genocide.  He discusses the plight of the Native American’s, Depression era lynchings, the American Indian Movement’s occupation of both Alcatraz and Wounded Knee as well as the 24 hour news cycle.  And once again William F. Buckley is referenced in regard to the Huey Newton episode of Firing Line.

 

So send us your emails about how to prepare crappie filets, historical perspective, or if you want more Heavy solo episodes to  canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

Support Big Tails

Ty and Gustav are back for more fun as they talk about how they support big tails, brown drink and old albums as they answer listener emails and Snapchats.

Heavy is off hiding his scent from beavers, so Gus and Ty do their best to keep the machine going.   They start off by acknowledging once again the influence the boys over at the It’s Just Banter podcast (also known as IJB) had on them getting started a year and a half ago.  And once again they talk about the classic film  “The Conversation”  (if you haven’t seen it yet, you should stop and go watch it, then you’ll know why we are crazy about it.)

Ty lobbies for another appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast and Gus reads some questions Megan sent in via Snapchat.  Ty and Gus are unanimous in their answer to Megan’s question.  Gus brings up a new argument against dinosaurs he saw on the internet and goes on record that he is someone who will support big tails.

support big tails

Does the angle even work?

 

Ty remembers some cassettes he wore the printing off of back in jr. high and high school.  The boys list off classic albums like Keith Whitley’s Greatest Hits and Pronounced Lynyrd Skynyrd.  They also talk about the importance of a good B side back in the days of cassettes and vinyl.

Gus talks about tanning hides or the at least the failures of attempting to tan hides.  Ty tells about the time he went hunting before class once.  Enterstandman sends a thought provoking email.  Gus shows off a new toy.   Dan from Melbourne follows up some proper English discussion from episodes past.  Hernandez and Ernesto send in their questions/thoughts about brown drink for Ty.  And ValleyButcher asks about smells.

So send us your emails about dinosaurs, favorite smells, bourbon ,  or rifle cartridges to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Penchant for Crazy Women

Ty and Gustav discuss crazy women, small town radio, international listeners.  Heavy wandered off again so it’s just Gus, Ty and a bottle of brown drink as they stroll down  small town memory lane once again.

To get the ball rolling, they debate whether or not Ty’s glass of brown drink is either a tumbler or a high ball glass or some such.  Clearly neither of them knows what they are talking about, so if you would like to email us and explain how to tell glasses apart, we would welcome the feedback.

Once again Ty and Gus talk about the late 70’s/early 80’s comedy phenomenon of SCTV.  Here is the Michael McDonald impersonation by Rick Moranis that Gus mentions ( but Gus is definitely wrong about the type of car he’s driving):

Gus confesses that he knew Ty was the class comedian early on and Ty discusses his comedic influences and his own solo work at the time.

They discuss their experiences listening to and love of small town radio from days gone past.

Then things turn sort of serious as they discuss crazy women.  Particularly, they discuss a crazy girlfriend of Ty’s from high school.  The stories would be a public service episode to share with any teenage boy so that they can learn from Ty’s misspent youth.  They also explain the concept of the small town “Drag”

crazy women

Not Ty’s Ex-Girlfriend (as far as we know…)

Then Gus shares an email from one of their Australian listeners and that our international listener outreach is making progress.  Hopefully we will hear from more and more international voices.  And eventually Gus will get those t-shirts sent out.

So send us your emails about small town radio, crazy women, or glassware to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

What is a Yankee?

Heavy, Ty and Gustav are back to answer emails, Twitter questions and have Heavy tell us what is a yankee.

Right off the bat, we apologize for some technical difficulties that we encountered during the editing of this episode.  We will try to do better moving forward, but we say that to the women in our lives, so don’t hold your breath.

For this episode, we put out the call to the listeners for emails and Twitter questions and once again you did not disappoint.  Except for Fake Bailey Jay who continues to disappoint us by not joining us in person.

Steve from Baltimore sent in a great email asking about what it means to be a Texan.  That leads Heavy to climb upon his soapbox, start pulling out maps and to try and get Ty and Gus to read some pamphlets he’s been working on.  That leads to Gus and Ty asking Heavy “What is a Yankee?”  That leads to it’s own lecture and once he is done, you will all be clear on his criteria.

mason-dixon line

Aaron , Tom and Fake Sports Bot send a ton of Twitter questions ranging from cigarettes, lawyers, gold, and topical tropical islands.

Gus has a show and tell with some recent additions to his vintage record collection.

Then the audio problem interrupts the guys having some serious old man talk.  And to further derail the good times, Heavy starts talking about politics in the 903 area code.

 

So send us your emails about geographic distinctions, Texas highways or vintage vinyl stories to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.  Who knows how much longer till Ty and Megan start their own Peaches and Herb cover band.

Tawny Kitaen Was On the Cover

Buckle up for a stream of conscience episode where the guys discuss water parks, free will, genetics and what album cover Tawny Kitaen was on.

If you hadn’t heard, America’s Favorite, Heavy Longmire is back on board and full of things to say.  We appreciate you sticking through two months of the Ty and Gus show.  To get things going, Gustav talks a bit about his kids being obsessed with zombies currently.  No doubt their father’s paranoia about the collapse of civilization has seeped into their little minds.  That leads to some gun talk, repo men stereotypes, the American Anarachist documentary, time traveling Gustav and more nutkicking about Tesla.

Heavy, unused to being in civilization, totally changes the conversation to an article Valley Butcher sent the boys about the wheels off history of Texas politics.

Ty then discusses his hatred of water parks after a recent outing with his family.  Gustav describes what it’s like to head to any public pool in the 903 area code.

Thinking back to their youth, the boys discuss Tawny Kitaen and her hotness in Whitesnake videos and album covers.  That leads to discussion about Kelly LeBrock and Weird Science.

tawny kitaen album cover for Ratt "Out of the Cellar"

She damn sure was on the album cover!

Going in a completely different direction, Ty then takes the dialogue into the world of free will, neuroscience and genetics.  Once again the evil spectre of eugenics raises it’s ugly head.  A discussion of the benefits of programs like Early Childhood Intervention ensues.

Heavy gets into physics talk and Gus describes his organic chemistry experiences in college.

So send us your emails about free will, your favorite eighties album cover girl or water park stories to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.

America’s Favorite

Ty and Gustav are back with a myriad of topics and an unfortunate claim from someone that they are America’s Favorite.  Things get heated early on as Gustav must defend the comments he made about climate change back during the Professor Brad guest appearance.

america's favorite podcast

Things settle down for a little bit of moccasin talk.  Gus delivers an update on a prominent moccasin manufacturer’s omission of  classic style and then espouses the best traditional moccasin for walking around on rocks.

Alt-Country performer Nikki Lane has been getting some airplay so that reminds Ty and Gus of the time that she met Heavy Longmire at the Old 97’s County Fair.

The boys then turn to talk about scorpions and they wonder about their decline in the 903 compared to when they were youngsters back in the seventies and eighties.  Scorpion talk naturally leads to a discussion about 1981’s “The Clash of the Titans”  and some thrilling moments as they look up names of actresses on their phones.

Willie Nelson and Family’s music festival at Starplex is then discussed as well as the stances of lawn or seats.

Gus recounts the one testical bear trap story for anyone who may have missed it the first time he told it.

Ty discusses his first bout with acid reflux and how Copenhagen and cheap beer subsequently affected it.

John Prine was just discovered by Ty so they talk about that even though Gus got Heavy listening to him back in high school.

And Gus updates us with a surge in listeners in Virginia and everyone agrees that Virginia is for Lovers.

So send us your emails about America’s Favorite, the time you saw Willie Nelson or what you think happened to the scorpions to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

 

Touch of Evil

Ty and Gustav are back for an episode where they answer listener emails and talk about old movies like Rear Window and Touch of Evil.  Sorry to sadden anyone, but once again, this is an episode without the one and only Heavy Longmire.  Maybe in the future, he will return to the fold.

Gus gets the ball rolling with a story of premature aging and discusses how people approach him for help in stores.  The guys then talk about Heavy’s propensity to close talk and discuss a recent report about an unbelievably high number of heterosexual men reporting to have cuddled other men in a non-sexual way.

Gus reads a couple of emails from Pretty Ranch Wife as she works through the back catalog of listeners.  She addresses recent roadkill adventures out in West Texas which leads Gus to tell the story of a classmate’s run in with a buzzard back in the eighties and how it ruined the dress of the kid’s mom.

Once again Ty lobbies for an appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast.  In lieu of a appearance on a far more successful podcast, Ty and Gus head down the film path and discuss gay characters in Westerns like Tombstone and There Was a Crooked Man.  That somehow leads them to Charles Nelson Reilly (once again).  They then talk about how much they love Alfred Hitchcock movies like Rope, Rear Window, Vertigo, and The Trouble with Harry.  Not surprisingly, Ty discusses Grace Kelly and Gus has some thin shaming comments to make.

film noir classic Touch of Evil

Orson Wells and Charlton Heston in Touch of Evil

Ultimately they turn to the subject of remakes which they have mixed feelings about and that leads to a brief discussion of film noir and they both geek out about the classic Orson Wells film “Touch of Evil”

So send us your emails about film noir, roadkill, Chuck Berry  or which tv shows you wish Charles Nelson Reilly had been a guest star on to  canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod