The Tale of Honey Mellons

Ty and Gus are back this week to answer listener Twitter questions, wax poetic ad talk about an exotic dancer named Honey Mellons.  Despite their best efforts and lighting numerous signal fires with the hope of luring him home, Heavy Longmire is still hiding somewhere in the wilderness.  Perhaps some day he will return.  But until that day comes, you are stuck with Ty and Gustav who truly do love you.

Ty starts off telling a story from his misspent youth in a honky tonk.  Cody sends a tweet about love that causes the boys to reflect on first loves.  Cody follows up with a tweet that makes Ty tell about the time he got lost in East Texas.  Gus revisits stumbling on a compound and then once again they touch base on the Satanic scare of the late eighties/early nineties.

The boys love all things related to eighties television so they spend an inordinate amount of time talking about the first episode of Fantasy Island, the parallel between Mr. Roarke and the Old Testament Jehova, and Roddy McDowell’s guest appearances as the devil.  And once again, they talk about their crush on Erin Grey from Buck Rogers.

The man from Baltimore proposes a conundrum involving John Wayne, Wilford Brimley and Marty Robbins which will certainly have Pretty Little Ranch Wife firing off a strongly worded email in weeks to come.  Gus gets far too excited about the Statler Brothers and their appearance on the Marty Robbins show back in the seventies.

Gus talks about how he’s been watching the Santa Clarita Diet on Netflix and how Timothy Olyphant’s character reminds him a lot of one Ty Webb.

former exotic dancer and model Honey Mellons

Another Dabney Coleman mention occurs for anyone keeping score at home and Rusty asks about nipples. Gus has been thinking about nipples on the way to record, so he has some thoughts on the subject.  Then he tells the story of how an exotic dancer named Honey Mellons made everyone who worked at his grocery store lose their minds one chilly night in Lubbock in 1993.

So send us your emails about nipples, the time you saw Honey Mellons at the grocery store or which actor you think looks like Ty  to


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Four Takes on Blood Meridian

In a departure from the normal shenanigans, the Can You Hear Me team puts on their thinking caps and discuss the novel Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy.  On of the crew’s favorite fellow podcasters, Brad from the Below the Belt podcast joins them to add the perspective of a historian to the discussion.  Below the Belt is a Mixed Martial Arts podcast with historical twist.  Brad cohosts Below the Belt with his friend Ryan.  The Below the Belt podcast is part of the Blowout Podcast Network and is one of the Can You Hear boys’ favorite weekly podcasts.

Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian Novel

Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West

Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West was first published in 1985 by Cormac McCarthy and is by many accounts, one of the finest novels ever written in the history of American literature.  Brad has a background in 19th century American and Mexican history and he was kind enough to join the guys for this special episode.

The novel is stark and often times disturbing look at life on the Mexican frontier in the early 1850’s.  It follows a young man, simply known as “the kid” as he joins in with a band of filibusters who take on a commission to collect the scalps of Comanches and Apaches who during that time were conducting raids along the borderlands of Northern Mexico.  The gang of scalphunters themselves devolve into savagery and McCarthy documents this devolution with clipped yet descriptive prose that conveys the violence and the oppressive environmental elements which at times act as characters in the narrative themselves.

The four friends bring four different viewpoints to the discussion and each find different meanings from this scant yet dense novel.  Much to McCarthy’s credit, Blood Meridian is a novel which it seems each person who reads it, takes away a different meaning.  The group discusses the novel from historic, literary, psychological and religious perspectives.

A novel of such imagery and violence is full of disturbing events and themes.  The team tackles them head on and eventually stumbles into spoilers of the story for anyone who may not have read it.  But with such a complex subject, the themes and elements of Blood Meridian cannot be discussed thoroughly without talking about the cryptic and much debated ending.

Despite the seriousness of the novel, the guys can’t help themselves from making their normal style of irreverent jokes, but in this case at a much lower rate of fire.  Many thanks to Brad from Below the Belt for appearing on this week’s episode.  Hopefully, he will return at some point in the future.

Blasting Caps, Dodgeball, and Near Beer

This week finds the Can You Hear Me podcast taking a walk down memory lane and discussing everything from dodgeball to blasting caps.  The guys recorded this episode right after they got back from the first ever “Battle of the Bastard Podcasts” meet up at the Pancho’s in Denton, Tx.    Representatives from Partial Recall (a Generation Y Nostalgia podcast), Below the Belt (a MMA/History podcast), Tell Me Where to Turn (a Guy Talk/Fantasy Sports Betting podcast) and several listeners/emailers such as Tom, J.J. and the Crandyman met up for a lunch of greasy Mexican buffet food and a lot of laughs.  The group stuck around and talked for three hours before everyone dispersed and the Can You Hear Me guys headed for Heavy’s garage to record.

Primed  for conversation after the luncheon, Gustav dives head first into vasectomy and uterine ablation talk, much to this dismay of Heavy and Ty.  Heavy doesn’t have much tolerance for medical procedure talk so he steers the conversation back to some elements that long time listeners may recall: the General, the Dairyman, and the ex-Air Force Pilot P.E. Teacher.  Dodgeball was the P.E. Teacher’s signature activity and he had the boys play it in a fashion that you just couldn’t get away with today.  It was kill or be killed and the implements of war were deflated basketballs, footballs and soccer balls with hand holds cut out of them.

You can’t tell stories about the P.E. Teacher without mentioning the time the General got a Carpenter’s Pencil stuck in his mouth in fourth grade.  Gustav and Heavy told that story in detail in the first episode of the podcast if you want to go back and revisit it.  We touch on some additional tales of the General that involve blasting caps and general shenanigans.  And then we remember the Dairyman’s war with the Head of the Class teacher and how he infuriated her with a six pack of Texas Select (near beer) on school field trip.

There’s also some physics class talk as well as fond memories of their chemistry teacher that looked and sounded like a real live version of Lurch from the Addams Family.

lurch on the Addams Family and a gorilla

If you don’t already, please subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or however you consume podcasts.  And if you have any feedback or questions, please feel free to email us at

Trough Urinals and Emails

The guys spend most of the 20th episode answering listener emails and going off on tangents about trough urinals, ice milk and race relations.  The episode was originally recorded back in June, several weeks before the unfortunate events in Dallas on July 7th.  One of this episode’s topics is how big a change desegregation was for the South and how just two generations removed from those times, the children of today think the idea of segregation sounds ridiculous.  The guys point out that the Nation has come a long way, but there are still obviously problems that still need to be worked through.

But for the most part this episode is like all the others, which means it is full of random thoughts, weird stories and a fair amount of nut kicking.  The Crandyman proposes that a local dirt track may have sent a copperhead strike force to the Monteblanc homestead and offers up another “White Couch” type of story that he heard in his youth.  Our West Texas Rancher shares a game changing idea for the strip club operators of the world and Pretty Little Nurse points out that she has some dating competition in her new West Coast town. Heavy actually offers up some solid dating advice for her.

All of these emails lead the boys down multiple rabbit trails, which isn’t any different than any other episode.  Gustav and Ty recall their summer job working for the school district.  During those summers, Gustav got stuck removing 70 year old trough urinals while Ty pointed out that his crew where taking naps.

old trough urinal

Gustav describes the music that he created and sent to the Below the Belt Podcast and describes it as horrid.  Below the Belt is a Mixed Martial Arts/History podcast that the guys are big fans of.  In the course of talking about Below the Belt, Gustav tells the story of how he was faced with sparring a 12 year old punk in Kendo class and how things escalated.  Hopefully, we will soon be able to get the Below the Belt guys on as guests or vice versa.

As mentioned earlier, the gang talks about how much has changed since our hometown was desegregated in the early sixties.  This leads the guys off on a discussion about post-colonial Africa and the current scramble for resources and influences that the U.S.A. and Europe are in with China.


Forklifts and Eighties Radio Stations

It’s a free form ramble this week as the Can You Hear Me boys talk about everything from forklifts to Eighties radio stations in the DFW area.  Gustav gets the ball rolling by telling how his dad has no problem with the idea of driving a forklift along a busy highway in the 903 wilderness for multiple miles.

Radio is a recurring theme in this week’s episode.  The guys fondly look back at the rural radio phenomenon of the call in Swap Shop program.  Whether they call it Tradio, Swap Shop or Trading Post, the basic format is the same.  The DJ takes calls from people either looking to sell something or looking to buy something.  Swap Shop talk leads to dumpster diving talk and Gustav talks about his experience a a dumpster diver and some of the junk that he found.

The team responds to emails from the Fake Bailey Jay and the Crandyman.  Somehow the conversation turns to Gustav describing his college career and how he abandoned any hope of getting a Chemistry minor.

KTXQ Q102 in Dallas Texas

Eighties Album Rock at It’s Best

Music has always played a big part in Can You Hear Me hosts lives.  They take a walk down memory lane and look back at the Eighties Radio Stations in the Dallas area that they listened to heavily.  KZEW listening led to Q102 or KEGL The Eagle listening with a detour to Z-Rock towards the end.  The guys realize that life is going to be totally different musically for their children.


KZEW Was The Departure Point

All of this album rock talk leads the guys to talk about the Texas Jam.  The Texas Jam was a day long concert held at the Cotton Bowl during the summer from 1978 to the mid-Eighties.  Bands like Van Halen, Aerosmith and ZZ Top were some of the heavy hitters that people braved searing Texas Heat to see.  Unfortunately, the guys were just a bit too young to ever make it to the Texas Jam.  Heavy and Gustav however did make it to Farm Aid 92.  They talk briefly about the giant concert held at Texas Stadium, but Gustav promises that they will do a much more detailed retelling of the Farm Aid experience on a future episode.

Email your questions or comments to

Apologize for the Bragging Montage

An unfortunate snakebite derailed our normal schedule, but I wanted to give an update and share a bit of a bragging montage with you as a consolation prize.  We all listen to KTCK “The Ticket” in Dallas and are fans of the bragging montage which is often requested during the Why Today Doesn’t Suck segment featuring BaD Radio and the Hardline.  Listeners email in and request bragging montages featuring Jake, Bob or Corby.  So I had been saving some of these snippets and put our own together.  I have also included a small clip which was part of a much bigger segment that got cut due to the fact we didn’t want our families after us for crossing the line of decorum.

We will be back next week with a full episode so don’t give up on us.

david soul starsky and hutch don't give up on us

Don’t Give Up On Us

Bananagrams, More Drifters and Okie Bars

On Episode 10 of the Can You Hear Me? Podcast, the crew is back and in a stream of consciousness conversation mood.  Straight out of the shoot (old timer term right there), Gustav poses the question of where do the guys choose to drop the kids off at the pool.  Are they free range or do they prefer the comfort of their home base?

Then Gustav describes how the Lord tested him to be on his best behavior while on a couples date with Mrs. Gustav and very nice LDS couple.  Throughout the night, Gustav is tempted and tested to show his true colors.  Finally, he can’t take it anymore during a tense game of Banagrams.

banagrams game gone wrong

Next, the crew turns their attention to cults.  The guys were kids when Jim Jones and the People’s Temple hit the news and Gustav remembers fears about the Moonies.  Cult talk leads into a brief dip into the Satanic Scare of the 1980’s which seems to have affected just about every Gen X kid in the Bible Belt.

We can’t talk about the Satanic Scare of the 1980’s without mentioning an eerie location in North Texas which seemed to be a hotbed of strange drifters, supposed Satanic cult activity, weird botany and general negative vibes. Ty and Heavy each share tales of encounters with drifters which could have gone a lot worse.  The main take away seems to be to stay away from anyone in an old van in the woods.

creepy old van in the woods

As Heavy describes it, the area along the Texas/Oklahoma border is “The Red River Valley”.  We describe the peculiar hole in the wall non-descript bars which you find on the Oklahoma side of the Red River.  Heavy retells an Oklahoma stripper story “a friend” told him which leads the boys to Jukebox talk.

Fondly recalling the jukebox at the old Pizza Hut in our hometown leads us into “Going out to Eat” talk and how it and parenting has changed from the seventies/eighties to how we now live.  Back then it was a much more parent-centric world, but now we are a child-centric world full of three over protective fathers.

old jukebox

Mysterious Oral Sex, Panhandlers, and Old Timey Phrases

This week we answer listener email from Can You Hear Me?’s very own future supreme court justice J.J. Storkenheimer.  J.J.’s email takes us into the strange world of mysterious oral sex followed up by a thought provoking discussion of panhandlers and how each host deals with them.  Then Longmire explores the realm of old phrases that our grandfathers and other old folks we grew up with used, but now are no longer part of the common vernacular (especially in the suburban Texas neighborhoods).  If you can think of any old timey phrases that you don’t want to see lost as we hurtle into the future, send us an email at and we will be sure to read and discuss them in upcoming episodes.

old timers saloon texas