Heavy’s Flag Code

The guys are back this week with Heavy’s new flag code, problems with Whataburger and a special treat from Ray Ranfill.  To make up for last week’s short episode we bring you the listener over one hour of quality product.

Right out of the chute, the guys tackle electricity and belts.  Riveting stuff right?  Then Gustav talks a bit more about Letterkenny, the Canadian comedy series that is now the guy’s current favorite show (update: Ty is all caught up).  It would be great if Letterkenny was available in the U.S. but it’s not at this time so you are just going to have “figure it out”.

 

Then Heavy gets all patriotic and digs into the Flag Code.  That leads  Ty and Gus to prove they are partly wrong most of the time.

heavy's flag code

How Heavy Respects Our Flag

Then we address a follow up email from our previous episode Partial Rewall.  Ray Ranfill is a poet and Ty gives life to his wonderful verses.

After such a glorious j.o. fest of in-jokes and 80’s NCAA basketball references, Ty gets all old man and channels his rage against Whataburger after he’s had two negative experiences in 24 hours.  Plus Heavy reveals a shocking Whataburger confession.

Somehow Ty realizes that Heavy looks like singer/songwriter/actor Hoyt Axton and that derails the show for a while.

hoyt axton boney fingers

Heavy’s Look Alike

Since they are derailed, Ty and Gus spend some time fondly thinking about the WKRP Softball episode.

wkrp

Bailey and Jennifer

Gustav tells how listener Matt found the lost Coke movie commercial in a shockingly small amount of time. Coke is the Real Thing once again.

Email us your poems or stories to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

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And buy Brad’s book!

 

That’s Me and Bananas

Listen to this week’s episode for a listener email about cruise ships, hot sports opinions about Dairy Queen Blizzards and Gustav’s weird stance on bananas.

Following up on Ty’s strange time measurement challenge from last week, Gustav asks about nighttime bathroom habits to get the conversation going.  Ty shares a dangerous story of going to the bathroom while Gus and Heavy make fun of him.

Ty and Heavy then stumble into some Alex Jones talk, stealing a page from the likes of IJB but then Ty starts challenging Gustav’s libertarian beliefs, probing to see exactly what he believes covering everything from home distillation to seat belts.

Long time good time listener Chef Rob (aka the Seafood Sorcerer) sends in an email based on recent Twitter conversations regarding cruise ships.  Gustav recounts past cruises and Heavy chimes in with his horrible experience.  Cruise talk leads to a discussion of whether or not we take too many pictures in this digital age.

banana suitSomehow we end up on the discussion of Dairy Queen Blizzards (imagine us talking about food…seems impossible). Gustav of course has some contrarian opinions on this staple of the ice cream based treats.  Which of course then leads him down a rabbit trail about banana flavored medicine called Paregoric.  His experiences with the camphorated tincture of opium known as Paregoric changed his life in a way that Heavy and Ty have a hard time comprehending.  And Paregoric gave us today’s episode title “That’s Me and Bananas”.

Email us your favorite Dairy Queen Blizzard flavor, your time trials to beat Ty or your own libertarian rants to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

You can also join us on reddit at r/canyouhearmepod

Follow us on Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Find us on Twitter @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy @canyouhearmepod

And you can SnapChat us (if you are going to send nudes, please make sure they are tasteful and well lit).

 

Testicular Torsion and a Bear Trap

The partial crew is back with special guest Ray Cranberry to talk testicular torsion, the Unabomber, tree forts and a double bear trap Gustav stepped into.

Ty is still absent without leave but we are lucky (or unlucky depending on your perspective) to have Ray sit in once again.  Concern about the intelligence community’s overreach and invasion of the privacy of the citizens leads to a discussion about mail box bombings, the Unabomber and the federal penitentiary known as Supermax in Florence, CO.

Gustav then tries to set the record straight on Ray Ranfill, KJ falling off a balcony and an unfortunately timed Christopher Reeves reference  while the shitbutt podcast family was enjoying some tasty barbecue.

Then the boys turn to a discussion about the gigantic Half Priced Books sale which happens each year and how Ty was trying to corner the market on Time Life Books.

An email from one of our esteemed West Texas listeners leads us down a rabbit hole of testicular torsion, ultrasound stories, the most believable unbelievable surprise sex story, and ultimately Gustav stepping into not one but two bear traps in rapid succession.

twisted up swing

Can You Hear Me’s Understanding of Testicular Torsion

All of this testicle talk leads Gustav to discuss his history of kidney stones, including his most recent stone which has been mentioned a few times over the last year in previous episodes.

Good dude Matt sends an email about the lost art of building forts and treehouses as well as detailing some of his youthful pranks, including the “invisible rope” trick, which no one on the crew had ever heard of.

If you would like to email us your testicular stories, tales of pranks and or unbelievable sex stories, you can reach us at canyouhearmepod@gmail.com or you can always tweet us @realgustav @longmireheavy @tywebb3000 or @canyouhearmepod

Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram @canyouhearmepod and join in the conversation (or lack thereof) on our Can You Hear Me subReddit

 

 

A Very Heavy Christmas

While Ty is still away on sabbatical, Ray Ranfill joins Heavy and Gustav for a very special Christmas episode.

Stealing a page from the Partial Recall playbook, Heavy tries to pass off a fake sponsor.  He’s feeling creative this episode, therefore if you are a fan of Heavy’s style, then you won’t be disappointed.  His fake sponsor Bill Bailey’s Bowel busters leads to chamber pot and outhouse talk followed up by a most unfortunate tale about the improper use of a trough urinal at the Devil’s Bowl Speedway.

very heavy christmas

He’s been working on this story while out trapping

Gustav files a field report about a tiny town’s Christmas parade that he went to earlier in the day.  That gets the guys thinking about the parades of old in small 903 towns.  Then it’s finally time for the moment that Heavy had been waiting for.  He shares with the listeners his newest Christmas magnum opus, A Very Heavy Christmas.  We’re not sure if it’s classified as a poem or a story, but either way, we think you will enjoy it.  It’s full of Can You Hear Me goodness and he’s quiet proud of himself.

After the Christmas prose, Gustav enlightens the group on the online phenomenon of teabagging someone in a game and how he had to educate his boys about what teabagging really means.

Heavy and Gustav then turn their sights on special guest Ray Ranfill and callback to a previous episode where he had written in and made reference to the “True Love Waits” movement which came along a few years after the guys were out of high school.

The rest of the episode is a scattershooting mess with high stakes backgammon talk, the effect of Native American casinos on the baby boomers of the 903 area code, Gustav well actuallying Ray about oxygen tanks and fire, more goofy stuff Gustav’s kids say and finally some more Christmas decorations talk.

Email us your feedback on Heavy’s new literary career at canyouhearmepod@gmail.com or reach us on Twitter @realgustav @longmireheavy @tywebb3000

Mourning Gene Wilder, Baloney, and a MacBeth Joke

The boys are back in Episode 33 to mourn Gene Wilder, answer listener emails,  talk about baloney and deal with a very unfortunate MacBeth joke.  Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

This week finds the crew in good spirits, even though Heavy tries to sink the thing with a bad Ronnie Milsap joke straight out of the chute.  A tweet from long time listener/field correspondent causes Gustav to wax poetic about Hunter S. Thompson’s lawyer in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  This leads to a discussion about the author and some of his works.

Gustav then shares how the loss of Gene Wilder really affected Mrs. Gustav.  The boys are all fans of Wilder’s work, so they spend a few minutes recounting some of his legacy and their fondness of him.

Then they tackle listener emails.  Gustav must rephrase his way through a mine field of loaded words while reading the sordid tale sent to us by one of our listeners working on an advanced degree.  Said listener almost redeems himself with a wonderful MacBeth joke, but the guys are too far gone into old man mode and they spend the next few minutes warning him of all the things that soap and water can’t wash off.

gene wilder as willy wonka

Next up, an email from crowd favorite yet Machine hated Crandyman asks the boys about baloney (or bologna for you high society folks with all your fancy talking).  It may surprise you that Heavy has some very specific thoughts and beliefs regarding this round mystery meat.

They then wrap it up with a couple of emails from lady listeners.  One gal is curious about who it’s okay to think about during your special alone time .  The other wants to know how to figure out if your friends are something more than boring vanilla types and how to let your partner know you are down for some more advanced activities (nudge nudge, wink wink).  Surprisingly, they guys somehow give some fairly mature advice.

If you have thoughts, complaints, stories, or general nonsense to share, please email us at canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Fractional Recollections and New Coke

The guys are back in Episode 32 to do a little remembering about New Coke, candy from the seventies and give a little love advice.  While we fully acknowledge that nostalgia for the 90’s is the territory of the Partial Recall Podcast, we felt that we were safe to slide back into the seventies and eighties for a bit of “membering”.

A previous episode featured the story of a faulty Coke machine in the jr. high field house which if someone was willing to get shocked, would continue to feed out free Coke’s.  Ty and Heavy seemed to remember that it was a “New Coke” machine so that prompted us to discuss the disastrous change from the traditional Coke recipe to the New Coke  and the subsequent backlash that led to Coca-Cola Classic, with New Coke eventually fading out of existence.

bill cosby new coke
They Even Got Cosby to Shill for New Coke

Of course we discuss why Coca-Cola management felt the need to monkey with a good thing.  A major factor was the Pepsi Challenge.  Ty lays out why the Pepsi Challenge was successful and why ultimately, it was deceptive to the Coca-Cola management.

mr. kotter gabe kaplan pepsi challenge
Gabe Kaplan of Welcome Back Mr. Kotter Conducting the Pepsi Challenge

All of this talk about soft drinks leads the crew to remember magical moments when an ice cold Dr. Pepper or Coke was the best thing in the world.  Then the conversation turns to each member’s favorite candy back in the olden times.  Gustav brings up some long gone candies like the Marathon Bar or Reggie Bar while Ty and Heavy just stare blankly at him.

patrick wayne marathon bar commercial
Patrick Wayne (son of John Wayne} in a Marthon Bar Commercial

Turning from nostalgia to their mission statement to help their listeners, the guys put on their Dear Abby wigs and answer an email from Pretty Little Nurse  on how to catch a guy that she has been on a couple of dates with.  After delivering some remarkably sound advice, Gustav tells how Mrs. Gustav put him through a long interview process before she finally gave into his questionable charms.

As always, email us your thoughts or questions to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com or find us on Twitter @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy @canyouhearmepod

Also be sure to check out the Partial Recall Podcast for your Generation Y nostalgia needs.

Tools and Fools

This week the Can You Hear Me crew are back with unsound advice about tools, tales of 4th of July and general musings and stories which may or may not be true.

Gustav recalls an apocryphal story regarding a college volleyball player with strong legs and a stronger scent, which may or may not have occurred.  That prompts the crew to try and think of a way to get out of a bad situation when going South goes bad.  After some musing, Gustav thinks he has the ultimate escape plan.

Then the crew reads an email from long time listener and the official “Chef of Can You Hear Me”, Chef Robert.  Robert asks what are the must have tools for the modern homeowner.  Of course the fools have lots of thoughts about tools.  We are sure that there will be some red hot feedback from some of our West Texas brethren.

Gustav recalls some of his run in’s with electricity.  This may come as a shock, but Gustav is not a licensed electrician and has gotten him shocked pretty badly on occasion.  He brings up the story of how he was camping under a tree that got struck by lightning and Heavy throws a flag on the play and calls bullshit, but eventually, with the help of Ty they come to a compromise of semantics.

Lightning hitting a tree talk leads to Gustav and Heavy telling stories of how not to trim trees.  Don’t try to recreate their techniques.  They clearly state that the listener should not learn what to do, but should learn what not to do.

Heavy delivers a recap of 4th of July festivities of the Longmires and Gustav talks about his fireworks surprise explosion.

And the guys finally get around to answering Robert’s question of whether they approved of Tim Allen’s “Home Improvement” series back in the day.

tim allen chicken coop

Tim Allen Would Approve of Gustav’s Chicken Palace

Lizard Men, a White Couch and a Kick Ass Uncle

This week the boys are back in full force with a tale of a guy that believes that Lizard Men are ruling the earth.  But first, we follow up our UFO talk with a tale of an unidentified flying object from our West Texas brother Tellito of something he saw flying through the sky one cold evening long ago.  Find out why what Tellito saw that night scares Gustav to this very day.

Ty and Heavy take a minute to thank the Fake Bailey Jay for guest hosting a few weeks back.  Maybe someday we will bring Fake Bailey Jay live in our garage studio.

Heavy brings up one of the folks he runs into in his professional life that has warned him about the second sun which may be hurtling towards Earth as we speak.  The same man has been warning Heavy that a reptilian race of lizard men are ruling human kind.  But the boys love conspiracy talk so they are up for the conversation.

lizard men and Jonny Quest

Lizard Men are Everywhere!

Travis sent in a very unfortunate story he heard about a couple in Arkansas, a white couch and the unluckiest dog around. The boys are shocked and amused at the same time.

Gustav touches briefly on the weirdness of Sid and Marty Krofft and their insane children’s shows which the crew grew up watching.  Mr. Show did a great satire of the Krofft products years ago.  Take a couple of minutes to watch the clip:

 

Then Gustav fondly remembers his aunt’s second husband who was the definition of a kick ass seventies dude.  Whether it was driving a Trans-Am way too fast, accidental discharges of a .375 H&H rifle or permanently scaring Gustav from using his Hippity Hop, this Uncle was the balls.  They don’t make them like that anymore.

So give us a listen and send us your emails at canyouhearmepod.com

 

 

Snatch and Sniff

In this episode, the guys discuss stripper smells (both the good kind and the bad kind), World Class Championship Wrestling and the Von Erichs, Charlie Rich and the Northern Soul movement in England, and engage in general music snobbery.

Kevin, David and Kerry Von Erich