Pro-Mayonnaise Articles

Once again Clay Ranfield joins Heavy and Gustav to talk about pro-mayonnaise articles and the world we live in.  Ty was off on vacation so Clay sat in with us for a session where three middle aged guys in their forties talk about modern angst.  But before we get to the that we have some fun.  Gustav retells the story of Gustav and the Three Bears  and how the Kids in the Hall warped him forever.

pro-mayonnaise articles

They then discuss David Letterman’s new show, which Letterman was the best and Gustav hopes that Andy Kaufman faked his own death just like he faked everything else.

Aaron asks us if we would commit sepuku.  Kim asks us what we think about the president tweeting.

Gustav revisits the question he asked Professor Brad on a previous episode and wonders why young people are so angry.  Heavy approaches it from a practical standpoint and a thoughtful conversation somehow emerges.

Then Gustav talks about Facebook and how people posting incessant pro-mayonnaise articles has made him hardly even use it anymore.

Let us know who you think faked their own deaths, or why you are so angry or your pro-mayonnaise articles to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Does Rambo III Count?

Heavy and Gustav are joined by special guest Ray Ranfill to discuss smuggling, eighties tv shows and Rambo III.  As you well know, Ray Ranfill is a long time friend of the show and frequent emailer who we have been lucky enough to have join us once again.

To start the episode, Heavy discusses a news story about liquid meth and Gus reads a story from Arizona about a cache of plastic explosives that someone accidentally dug up.

Twitter questions lead us into a discussion about Jan Smithers, Erin Gray or someone else and then that leads Gustav to a shocking confession (alright not that shocking) about Mrs. Garrett from Diff’rent Strokes and Facts of Life fame.  Heavy then upsets Gustav concerning a guest star on Facts of Life.

rambo III afghanistan

Attention turns to war movies and the boys rattle off a bunch of good ones.  Heavy wanted the movies listed, so here you go:

 

Tora! Tora! Tora!

Midway

A Bridge Too Far

The Longest Day

Cross of Iron

Saving Private Ryan

Bridge Over River Kwai

Apocalypse Now Redux

The Deer Hunter

Full Metal Jacket

Platoon

Rambo 3

We Were Soldiers

Hurt Locker

Lone Survivor

Blackhawk Down

BAT 21

First Blood

Hamburger Hill

Rambo: First Blood Part 2

Rambo III

Red Dawn

 

Then Gustav geeks out and explains comic book movies and the general comic book universes to a questioning Heavy.  Howard the Duck gets mentioned again and Gustav continues to ponder the awesomeness of Rambo III and it’s final battle.

So send us your emails about smuggling, eighties tv shows or your favorite war movies to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Arguing About Acreage

Returning for a third appearance Megan rejoins Ty, Heavy and Gustav to answer Twitter questions, be mansplained and listen to the boys arguing about acreage.  Super special guest Megan is the host of locally famous and regionally loved Megan’s Movie Podcast which can be found on the Blowout Podcast Network.

This week, Gustav put out the call for Twitter questions from the listeners for Megan.  But before that, he has to mention Simon and Simon and discuss the merits of the theme songs, as well as the Square Pegs theme song, and as Megan refers to it, the diarrhea song.

 

arguing about acreage

Long time friend of the show Valley Butcher asks about Haunted Houses.  Since they bully Megan, the boys just go about describing a local haunted house in their youth that was held at a condemned hospital.  That leads to arguing about acreage as Heavy estimates the size of the lot in his initial description and Ty and Gus challenge him on the lot size, while Megan sighs a lot and rolls her eyes.  Heavy also goes into stories of a local doctor that worked at the hospital and was a bit of a mad scientist.

Ranfill asks questions about at home nudity and Metallica albums.    Gustav offers up helpful tips about working from home.  Saint Tom asks Megan what the most “903” thing she has ever done was.  That leads to a discussion about Megan’s husband T.C.’s landmark moments involving a break in at his home he thwarted and his trapping of a wild hog to win $2000 from Bob and Dan on KTCK.  Then Heavy and Megan bond over vomiting stories.

It was great for Megan to join us once again and we look forward to future guest appearances.  Be sure to check out Megan’s Movie Podcast each Friday.

So send us your emails about mad scientists, vomiting, Simon and Simon or the best Metallica album  to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

Penchant for Crazy Women

Ty and Gustav discuss crazy women, small town radio, international listeners.  Heavy wandered off again so it’s just Gus, Ty and a bottle of brown drink as they stroll down  small town memory lane once again.

To get the ball rolling, they debate whether or not Ty’s glass of brown drink is either a tumbler or a high ball glass or some such.  Clearly neither of them knows what they are talking about, so if you would like to email us and explain how to tell glasses apart, we would welcome the feedback.

Once again Ty and Gus talk about the late 70’s/early 80’s comedy phenomenon of SCTV.  Here is the Michael McDonald impersonation by Rick Moranis that Gus mentions ( but Gus is definitely wrong about the type of car he’s driving):

Gus confesses that he knew Ty was the class comedian early on and Ty discusses his comedic influences and his own solo work at the time.

They discuss their experiences listening to and love of small town radio from days gone past.

Then things turn sort of serious as they discuss crazy women.  Particularly, they discuss a crazy girlfriend of Ty’s from high school.  The stories would be a public service episode to share with any teenage boy so that they can learn from Ty’s misspent youth.  They also explain the concept of the small town “Drag”

crazy women

Not Ty’s Ex-Girlfriend (as far as we know…)

Then Gus shares an email from one of their Australian listeners and that our international listener outreach is making progress.  Hopefully we will hear from more and more international voices.  And eventually Gus will get those t-shirts sent out.

So send us your emails about small town radio, crazy women, or glassware to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

The North Texas Gas Crisis of 2017

The full crew is back to talk about hiding out, the North Texas Gas Crisis, hushpuppies, Comanches and much more.  Right off the bat they start off with Long John Silvers, hushpuppies and catfish restaurant talk (again).  But that doesn’t last long as Heavy attacks Gus and tries to blame him for the North Texas Gas Crisis of 2017.  Blame may be a strong word, but Heavy does believe Gus had a hand in it.  Heavy also recounts Gus and the global rice shortage many years ago.

north texas gas crisis

Gus once again stresses that everyone should have at least 72 hours worth of food and water on hand for an emergency situation.  That leads to a twitter question from Tell wondering what the boys would recommend to have with them if they had to go into hiding in West Texas.  Surprisingly enough, they don’t give a straight answer and they ultimately leave out a lot things.

Gus recalls alt-country/Americana singer/songwriter Kevin Welch’s song “Wilson’s Tracks”and from there Heavy talks about how he was a house guest in the Seattle area once upon a time.  That leads to a discussion about natural resources availability and the effect that scarcity had on whether or not Native American tribes established more stable settlements which led to increased population densities.  That leads to Gus mentioning the Japanese explorer/Zunni language hypothesis which will need to be further investigated.

Ty has been reading “The Empire of the Sun and the Moon” about the Comanche nation and that leads to a lot of discussion about Comanche raiding parties during the 1700’s and 1800’s.

Heavy talks about the response to Hurricane Harvey and ties back to the Eastern Bloc with a story about his friend’s Hungarian wife and her baked bean conundrum.

They finally get back to Tell’s question but they get hung up on the “Two is One, One is None” redundant equipment philosophy.

 

If you would like the guys to talk in earnest about emergency preparedness or if you just want us to keep flitting from one topic to the next, email us at CanYouHearMePod@gmail.com

 

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Gus’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Royal Tenenbaums.

Mexican Internet

Once again Ray Ranfill joins Heavy and Gus to talk old movies, answer emails and debate the merits of ordering things off of the Mexican Internet.  Ty is busy doing “paperwork” once again, or possibly doing research for his new side project with Megan from Megan’s Movie Podcast where they analyze each and every line from Tootsie.

Gustav gets the ball rolling with a  field report from a pawn shop and offers up a little show and tell for the boys.  He also discusses the wide open nature of black powder pistols for those citizens who may not be able to legally purchase a cartridge firearm.

There is some highbrow grandstanding as Gustav brags about reading fancy books such as William Faulkner’s Sound and the Fury, but Heavy tries to keep him in check.

Jay responds to his own email about the fascinating world of Sun Truthers which Gus and Heavy had never even heard of before.

There is some talk about the American institute of trial by jury, Bitcoin and HBO’s classic series The Wire.

mexican internetAn email from KJ about hangovers leads the three to ask where you would you rather order IV solution from the Canadian Internet of the Mexican Internet and you really can’t pass that up for an episode name at that point.

Ray talks about how awesome he is at fantasy sports betting and the like.

Fake Bailey Jay takes the boys to task about some hot sports opinions about Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, which leads to a very disappointing conversation with Heavy and Jay about their opinions about the film.  But further discussion about Tarrantino’s work is more positive.

The movie talk leads Ray to ask about regretting showing your kids certain movies.  Gus tells about how he had his kids watch the unedited Blaxploitation classic “Cotton Comes to Harlem” and how he forgot a few jubblies that may have been left out of the edited version.  He also talks about the fun action comedy “True Lies”

 

So send us your emails about movies, single shot shotguns or jury selection to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.

 

What is a Yankee?

Heavy, Ty and Gustav are back to answer emails, Twitter questions and have Heavy tell us what is a yankee.

Right off the bat, we apologize for some technical difficulties that we encountered during the editing of this episode.  We will try to do better moving forward, but we say that to the women in our lives, so don’t hold your breath.

For this episode, we put out the call to the listeners for emails and Twitter questions and once again you did not disappoint.  Except for Fake Bailey Jay who continues to disappoint us by not joining us in person.

Steve from Baltimore sent in a great email asking about what it means to be a Texan.  That leads Heavy to climb upon his soapbox, start pulling out maps and to try and get Ty and Gus to read some pamphlets he’s been working on.  That leads to Gus and Ty asking Heavy “What is a Yankee?”  That leads to it’s own lecture and once he is done, you will all be clear on his criteria.

mason-dixon line

Aaron , Tom and Fake Sports Bot send a ton of Twitter questions ranging from cigarettes, lawyers, gold, and topical tropical islands.

Gus has a show and tell with some recent additions to his vintage record collection.

Then the audio problem interrupts the guys having some serious old man talk.  And to further derail the good times, Heavy starts talking about politics in the 903 area code.

 

So send us your emails about geographic distinctions, Texas highways or vintage vinyl stories to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Also be sure to check out Ty’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast where they discuss The Breakfast Club.  Who knows how much longer till Ty and Megan start their own Peaches and Herb cover band.

The Tale of the Melted Fork

While Heavy Longmire is still out trapping muskrat, Ty and Gus got together to talk old game shows, share a story about a melted fork, kick around some hardware ideas and do a little dentist talk.

Ty starts things off with a story about the former child actor, his jeep, a college cop, and some shade tree mechanics.  The shade tree mechanics lead Gus back to another co-worker from the previous episode’s stories about their first job.

Gus wonders about the species of grass which may contain the same chemical that is in vanilla and shows that he knows way too much about Hierochloe oderata.  The vanilla talk leads the boys down a path back to a vague and ultimately incorrect memory about an episode of Family Ties where someone drinks vanilla extract for the alcohol.  Gus and Ty are dead wrong on which character it was.  Be sure to listen to the outro to see if you can identify the very famous voice who actually did drink the vanilla extract.

Recently Gus went to get his teeth cleaned and had a really bad time while on nitrous oxide.  Ty then drops a bomb shell on Gus which leaves Gus worried about how long Ty has left on this earth.

melted fork

Oops……

Then Gus tells Ty about a trip to his parents where he saw his brother and how one thing led to another and then there was a smoker, a melted fork and some cussing.  That led to his brother doing some bourbon fueled welding to “fix” the melted fork.

melted fork rebuilt

We have the technology to rebuild him…

Ty shares the story of his grandmother on famous game show.  Once again they then dive into game show talk and fondly remember the Price is Right and the Gong Show.  Then they geek out over Tom Snyder and Joe Franklin for a while.

So send us your emails about  game shows, bad trips and crap you’ve melted to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Be sure to listen to listen to Gustav’s guest appearance on Megan’s Movie Podcast on the Blowout Podcast Network where he and Megan talk about Tombstone.

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

 

Ty and Gus’s Summer Job

Episode 67 finds Ty and Gus without Heavy so they spend the evening talking about homemade tattoos, their old summer job, Val Kilmer and assorted other nonsense.

On a recent trip back to the hometown, Gus took his kids on a tour of the town where he correlated everything to My Name is Earl.  Talking about the old places, gets Ty and Gus on the subject of homemade tattoos of their co-workers from their summer job.  The old summer job had a lot of characters and it left a long term mark on the guys.

summer job

Ty taking a break from working back in 1992

Ty talks hauling hay which leads to talk about the King of the County (at least back then).

Gus reveals how finding something from 20 years ago shows how he got fat.

The guys grew up in a time of hazing and swats and recall how much things have changed over the years.

A listener in Germany identifies where some of the recent spike in foreign listeners have come from.  But we still want to hear from anyone else that is listening outside of the borders of Texas.

In a week or two Gus will be guesting on Megan’s Movie Podcast.  Ty wants to make sure Gus represents the career of Val Kilmer appropriately and gives credit where credit is due.  That leads to some discussion about the cast of Real Genius and plastic surgery.   Somehow that leads to circumcision talk, yet again.

Gus and Mrs. Gus stumbled onto Adult Swim’s Black Jesus and it’s not bad but not great.

And we put out the call for a video tape copy of Heavy’s high school senior play because we really want to see Heavy singing and dancing.

So send us your emails about summer jobs, bad tattoos and hazing tales to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Check out Megan’s Movie Podcast

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod

 

Three Wide in a S-10

This week the guys talk about recent acts they’ve seen, carnivals, hitchhiking, a harrowing tale of being three wide in a S-10, Cheers and Michael Keaton.

Gustav starts off the episode with a field report about the Steve Martin and Martin Short show he recently saw, as well as comparing and contrasting it to the John Cleese and Eric Idle show from earlier in the year.  Heavy talks about his anniversary date to go see the Drive-by-Truckers at the Granada with a stop to see Chef Rob before the show.

The boy’s lament missing the Old 97’s Country Fair this year with a hint of remorse about last year’s County Fair and the lost episode.  Ty tells about his most recent use of Craig’s List to unload tickets to the Fortress Festival.

Fair talk leads to carnival talk as the guys remember winning roach clips and age inappropriate mirrors from the carnies.  Gus tells a freak show story and recalls being stuck when a ride broke. The ever present theme of the freedom and inherent danger of a kids life in the eighties presents itself once again.

three wide s-10 ad

Don’t Find Yourself Three Wide in a S-10

Heavy tells the story of a little traveling Mexican Circus he took his family too after church one day.  The traveling life opens the question of taking an RV across the country.  RV travel naturally leads to talk of train hopping and former railroad man Pappy Longmire.  Ty has a great story of how his friends in college hopped a train and ended up in a very uncomfortable situation and found themselves three wide in a S-10 pickup.  That story leads to more hitchhiking talk including a tale of Point Break Dave from Tell Me Where to Turn Podcast fame.

Ty and Gus engage in Michael Keaton talk with a focus on Night Shift, Mr. Mom and Birdman.  Heavy can’t help himself and makes a Gung-Ho joke in hopes of derailing the conversation.  While remembering the eighties, the guys talk MASH and Cheers.

Gus is dying to talk about Beyond the Valley of the Dolls but has to explain to Heavy who Russ Meyer was so that goes nowhere.  Ty has an idea for a premium content episode about Three’s Company.

So send us your emails of carnies, hitchhiking and your own three wide tales to canyouhearmepod@gmail.com

Join us on our sub-reddit for Can You Hear Me

Follow us on Twitter @canyouhearmepod @realgustav @tywebb3000 @longmireheavy

Find us on Tumblr and Instagram @canyouhearmepod